Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Remastered
by Vivalahomestar
Summary: A dastardly, mastardly plan that Dangeresque must unravel. Team up with and defeat former villains. Can Dangeresque prevail in this truly epic, full quality, remastered movie that Strong Bad usually would only dream of.


Author's Notes/Explanation: This story is a novelization of some sort of Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. Why I say of some sort is because it's not an average novelization. For one thing, the characters are regular humans (well, that's actually normal for a Homestar story) and a lot of things are changed around. My point is, instead of it being a crappy movie like in the game, it's actually an epic movie in theaters around the world and the cast get famous off of it/the rest of the story. …Now that I'm done rambling, you can actually read the dang thing.

Also, I don't own Homestar Runner. That goes for this entire story.

. . .

There was a smoky office, outside the small window, you could see it was located in a large city and that it was nighttime. On the desk, a Nunchuck with a gun on one end sat. A hand sporting a red, biker glove could be seen grabbing it and pulling it to him. Across the room, the door was opening, but it was so dark in the hallway that the intruder couldn't be seen.

"I always knew it would come to this," said the man at the desk, staring at the doorway. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?" It could be seen that the man was wearing a red wrestling mask with a black pattern in the middle. He was wearing gold sunglasses that blocked his eyes from view. "Did you really believe that I would never discover the true face of my greatest enemy?" he prosecuted while pointing the gun at the door.

A silhouette of a tall man could be seen walking in; he appeared to be wearing a baseball cap and had arms skinny enough to look invisible in the shadows.

"That's right. But it doesn't matter now, because _I _have the diamond!" he snarled.

"You mean… THIS DIAMOND!" replied the masked man, holding up a large, shiny diamond. The other man gasped.

**Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (Remastered)**

Everything blacked out and a sleek, silvery logo showing that name appeared out of nowhere. It soon faded and three silhouettes (with silver borders) walked into view. The two men from before were there as well as another man who was tall, skinny, but had large hands and feet. They walked smoothly as colored words started to move across the background. They all leapt into the air as epic music played; spinning in slow motion they then were suspended in midair, the masked man in front of the others as they seemed to be zoomed in on them. Everything blacked out again.

**{Location: The Premiere}**

The masked man woke up with his head on a laptop computer. He was in the same mask and gloves; he was also shirtless, wearing tight, black pants and red boots. This was his character's outfit in the movie, minus the sunglasses. He was in a dressing room on the second floor of a movie theater in L.A. Outside his window, the sun could be seen setting.

"Wha-hwoa?" he exclaimed, lifting his slightly large head off the keyboard. "Oh yeah, right. Reply to all…" he started while clicking on said button in his e-mail. He started to type. "Dear, all the annoying morons who have been bugging me about if for four and a half years…" he narrated as he typed. "Yes I finally finished Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, so you can all EAT IT! The critics are stark-raving, 'A dastardly, mastardly masterwork of cinimagic wonder!' … 'More special effects than a Jessica Tandy joint!' … 'They may give you a whole tub of popcorn, but you'll only need the edge!' Premiere tickets are selling for like $100 a piece! Everybody that's anybody that gives me $100 will be there!" He quickly sent it and sat there for a second until a panicked look came upon his face and he glanced at the clock on his computer. "Oh crap! I'm late for the premiere!" he shouted and dashed out of his dressing room towards the theater itself where they were waiting to start the film.

As he sat down next to his fellow cast members (who were also in costume or at least mostly were), several of them shouted angrily at him for being late and he could have sworn one of them (one of the cast members, not a fan) was saying, "Is that him? I think that's him!" excitedly.

The lights started to dim, so the masked man (known as Strong Bad) decided to get everyone excited, "Ok peoples, this is the moment you've all been waiting for!" he shouted. "The long awaited premier of… DANGERESQUE… THREEEEEE!" He then quickly sat down as the movie started.


End file.
